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At work today, my boss insisted we upsell guests to our shrimp platter. He chastised me after I failed to convince one table- even though the kid at the table had a shrimp allergy. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/31/14 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( shrimp platter allergies )

At work today, I started an inter-office feud. The battle is over large, plastic paperclips. So far, I've managed to swipe 10 from my coworker. His retaliation thus far? Egg on my keyboard. This is already out of hand. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/31/14 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( feuds prank paperclips )

At work today, I received an email from a woman in our company. The previous email from her was "I'll get back to you in a sec." That was a month ago. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/30/14 at 9:04pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( woman email sec )

At work today, we extended our store hours from 9-5 to 9-6. It would be a good idea. Except nobody comes in after 4 each day. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/30/14 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( hours extended 9 )

At work today, my coworker gave me an unsolicited beauty tip to "watch my nails." Her nails are plastic, two inches long, and rainbow colored. Thanks for the tip. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/30/14 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( fingernails beauty tip )

At work today, I had my eyes checked during lunch. They insisted on dilating them. I have a sales job, but instead of looking customers in the eye, I was forced to squint at them. It was tragic. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/30/14 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( eyes dilated squinting )

At work today, I brought in homemade caramel apples for the store. Later, I heard my boss telling my coworker to "watch out for razor blades." Really? I'm dumbemployed.

by ein_bisschen on 10/30/14 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( caramel apples razor blades homemade )

At work today, half the office came in wearing football jerseys. I'm not into football, so I didn't wear one. I was spurned the entire today. The scary thing is that I'm on the accounting floor- I can't imagine what it's like in sales. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/29/14 at 9:04pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( football jerseys accountants )

At work today, I got to write my first movie review for an alt weekly! I love the idea that I'm getting paid to do it. I love it a little less that my first shift includes 3 movies, all of which made me want to gouge out my eyes. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/29/14 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( movies reviews gouge )

At work today, I noticed that the fundraising thermometer at our store looked suspiciously high. I asked a cashier about it. "Oh yeah," she said. "I added 10,000 to the count. I thought it'd make everybody a little happier." I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/29/14 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( fundraising thermometer 10 000 )

At work today, I was running the attendance desk at our high school. Two students came in with a note "from their mom." The first tell? They'd signed it "Mom." I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/29/14 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( mom note attendance )

At work today, my supervisor locked himself in his office all day because of a "big project." Later on, we snuck in when he was in the bathroom. His computer screen was set to Match.com. I guess it is important...I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/29/14 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( online dating project computer monitor )
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