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At work today, the first thing I did was wipe down the entry to our store. The second thing I did was walk away. The third thing I did was help the customer who'd slipped on my work and broken her collar bone. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/30/15 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers

At work today, an elderly couple came into the electronics store where I work. They offered to trade in for a new refrigerator. I told them we don't do that. Then they offered me a Betamax, too. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/30/15 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers

At work today, I hoped that I could sneak out a little early through the back door. I turned out to be wrong. When my boss caught me, he made me get ice cream for the office. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/30/15 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( ice cream leaving caught )

At work today, I tried to convince my boss that he should get a phone with e-mail on it. He smiled. "That's what you're for," he said. "Just call me and tell me the e-mail." I'm dumbemployed.

by madmordekai on 06/30/15 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( secretary email phone )

At work today, we found a fallen stop sign on the side of the road and took it inside, thinking it might look good on the walls of the store where I work. When I brought it in, two cops were looking around. I handed it to them and they left without a word. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/29/15 at 9:04pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( stop sign cops lost goods )

At work today, I was browsing for apartments online when I came across a picture of my coworker in hers. Apparently, she wants a subleaser for her roommate. But she also mentioned that she has "numerous houseguests." Ew- I did not need that image. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/29/15 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (2) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( subleasing apartments houseguests )

At work today, the subway train I was in broke down, making me a half hour late and dangerously overheated. I came into the office looking like a hot mess. But for some reason, everybody said I looked better than usual. I should do this more. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/29/15 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (2) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( subway late hot mess )

At work today, we were all praying that we'd get some time off to see the fireworks my town puts on. We got off, but only because my boss had a heart attack. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/29/15 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (2) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( fireworks heart attack bittersweet )

At work today, I was cooking up Hot Pockets at the work microwave for lunch. Then this girl, Sara, yelled that I'd stolen her Hot Pockets. She just about tackled me and bit me in the shoulder. Then she realized she'd actually packed a sandwich. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/29/15 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( hot pockets microwave tackled )

At work today, the state director returned to work after a week-long "sickness" to hand out some awards. I received one and shook his hand for a pic. He later revealed that he had poison oak below the waist b/c he kept on itching his junk. I immediately washed my hands, and mind. I'm dumbemployed.

by papabear on 06/28/15 at 9:04pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (1) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( sickness poison oak junk )

At work today, somebody decided that we would have "Christmas in June," in our building, for some reason. It's mandatory that we all have a little Christmas cheer and dress in green and red. And we're doing Secret Santas. One problem. I'm Jewish. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/28/15 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( christmas june jewish )

At work today, we were clearing out the old barn in back for a few minutes when we saw something black against the outside wall. I thought it was a paint stain or a burn. It wasn't. It flew away when I got close and we realized that it had been a bat. Probably rabid, I'd guess. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/28/15 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (0) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( barn bat rabies )
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