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At work today, opera started playing on the intercom overhead. I'm open minded, but opera just doesn't cut it, kids. I went inside the room to change it. Turns out my boss was using it to muffle his affair with the junior client manager. I hid. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 11/24/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( opera affair junior client manager )

At work today, I had an appointment with my psychiatrist. He recommended that I get out "excess energy" at work by staying longer. I tried it today. Thanks Doc. I stayed until 7:30. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 11/23/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (2) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( appointments psychiatrist shrink )

At work today, I wore a pair of sandals to work. My coworker insisted on pointing them out. But she's old and calls them "thongs." Now the whole store thinks that I'm a hoochie. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 11/23/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (1) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( thongs sandals hoochie )

At work today, some of the people in my department discovered I was on the high school debate team. They teased me all day. Good lord. They kept yelling "objection!" That's not a debate term. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 11/23/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (2) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( debate tease objection )

At work today, there were about thirty people in line for all the different registers. There weren't near enough cashiers on. After a customer waited a half hour, he got to me in line. "Why do you run your store this way?" he asked. I am a cashier, sir. That's all. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 11/23/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (0) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( line waiting half hour )

At work today, my coworker and I got really excited because we found a drive in movie theatre! We went after work and brought tons of candy. Then, this guy shows up outside our window- the creepiest customer at the salon. He wanted candy. We gave it to him so he'd leave. I'm dumbemployed.

by madeleine_york on 11/22/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (0) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( drive in movie candy creepy )

At work today, we discovered a gun somewhere in the building. Of course, in our building, guns are strictly prohibited for anybody to use. Guess where they found it? Inside my boss's desk. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 11/22/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (1) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( gun desk hidden )

At work today, my boss was trying to entice us to come over for his housewarming party. Uh, I don't know. He said he'd sweeten the deal by letting us use his hot tub. I had to remind him that it's summer. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 11/22/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (0) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( hot tub housewarming summer )

At work today, I left the office late and got to the parking lot. My car? Gone. In its place was a hubcap and a note. "Sorry," it said. "Had to take this." I walked home. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 11/22/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (0) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( car late stolen )

At work today, my voice started cracking. I tried everything I could do to fix it, but nothing worked. Finally, I guzzled green tea. The result? I had to pee a lot more. I'm dumbemployed.

by quikslvrry on 11/21/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (0) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( voice pee cracking )

At work today, my parents came into work. Everybody knew that they were going to come in. Maybe that's the reason I got double the workload than normal. Mom and dad got to watch me file spreadsheets all day. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 11/21/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (1) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( parents spreadsheets workload )

At work today, I was stuck on the "shoveling shift." Guess where? I work at a stable four blocks west of Central Park. I live in the most crowded city in the United States, and my job is shoveling horse manure. A lot of it. It's the busy season. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 11/21/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (1) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( shoveling manure horses )
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