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At work today, I got the results of my drug test. Before it, I took some special powder that's supposed to help. It turned my pee green. I was obviously nervous. But it worked- I passed the test. I guess drugs are bad, but green urine is fine. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 05/01/16 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( drug test pee green )

At work today, I ventured down to the warehouse to inquire about a shipment. The workers were all circled together. I leaned in and saw that they were actually playing craps. Well, it's better than a dogfight, I suppose. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 05/01/16 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( craps dogfight warehouse )

At work today, I got hired by my cousin to paint the inside of her house. She's painting it "eggshell." She was helping, but she kept turning around and wiping the paint with her pigtails. I hate to say it, but the eggshell looks cracked. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 05/01/16 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( paint cousin eggshell )

At work today, I stayed a little late. That's probably why my car was broken into. The window was smashed and my CD player was gone. The sad thing is that I was going outside to grab some stuff. I had to go back inside and finish work. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 05/01/16 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( robbed car cds )

At work today, I hung up the flag outside our dealershp. My boss is a veteran, so the flag is huge. It took me almost an hour to get it perfect. Just as I was walking away, it started raining. I turned around and started taking it down again. I'm dumbemployed.

by bateofobia on 04/30/16 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( flag veteran rain )

At work today, a customer asked if his tailor would be able to modify a suit he was going to purchase. I said there was no reason why he wouldn't. The customer frowned. "Are you sure?" he asked. "Because my tailor's not very good." I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 04/30/16 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( tailor suit modify )

At work today, I wore a skirt into work, since summer is fading away. The HR guy talked to me about it and asked if I really thought it was "work appropriate." He was wearing tight red bike shorts. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 04/30/16 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (27) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( skirt bike shorts hr )

At work today, I had a very long debate about the nature of genies. My coworker seems to think that genies are nice. This is the person that I am stuck working with. He doesn't even know about genies! By the way, we're in finance. Business is down this year. I'm dumbemployed.

by el0observador on 04/30/16 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( genies debate finance )

At work today, the whiteboard was totally messed up with red, blue, and purple ink. But I only found a blue and purple marker. I lifted my finger to the red ink and smelled it. Honestly, who puts ketchup on a white board? I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 04/29/16 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( whiteboard ink ketchup )

At work today, we had one of the highest pressure corporate meetings of the year. Then, we got a little sidetracked. If you'd told me I'd spend 20 minutes debating the difference between "who" and "whom," I wouldn't have believed you. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 04/29/16 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( 20 who whom )

At work today, the temp we hired got a tour of the building. He was carrying around a camera. I asked him if he really liked the building that much. "No," he said. "This is for the eventual lawsuit. Don't tell anybody though." I didn't. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 04/29/16 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (11) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( camera tour temps )

At work today, I helped an elderly woman load up her trunk with groceries. Bizarrely, she started hitting on me. "I'm too old to be a cougar," she said. "But I can still be a sabre tooth tiger, cutie." I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 04/29/16 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (10) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( cougar sabre tooth tiger grocery )
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