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At work today, three people wanted to buy the same exact red t-shirt and a roll of duct tape. Turns out they were all preparing for a huge bar crawl around the city. I was preparing to spend another night at work. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 12/13/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (1) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( bar crawl t-shirt duct tape )

At work today, I admit that I was staring at one of our secretaries after work. So sue me- she's pretty. Well, turns out she saw me and came over afterwards to talk to me. "I'm married," she said. "But more importantly, I know how little money you make." I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 12/13/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( secretary salary poor )

At work today, my boss announced that he was unleashing our new company song. OK, I didn't know we had one, but whatever. Turns out it's not necessarily the best song. The tune is three fast beats, three slow beats, and three fast beats. In other words, SOS. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 12/13/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( song sos morse code )

At work today, I was speaking to one of our chief people in London. He started talking about "The Tube," and I assumed he meant transport from London to Paris. Turns out he was talking about what the doctor put in his stomach after a hard night of partying. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 12/13/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( london tube stomach )

At work today, the bubblegum I had in my mouth lost its flavor too quickly. I drew out the pack. It was given to me at a company picnic by one of the secretaries. Then I saw that the copyright was from 1999. They gave us 10 year old gum. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 12/12/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( bubblegum copyright old )

At work today, the postman paused for the longest time in front of my building. At first, I thought that something might be wrong. It turns out he was just resting. I needed the mail before work. But he rested too long to give it to me. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 12/12/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( postman mail resting )

At work today, I looked up the genealogy chart of an Italian senior citizen at our home. Apparently, he was a distant cousin of Mussolini. But that wasn't enough for this guy. He wanted me to track him back to the 1800s. I'm still researching. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 12/12/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( mussolini genealogy italian )

At work today, we had the knife sharpener come around to the restaurant. He had plenty of jokes about all the things he could cut. The worst one was his price. That he couldn't cut, no matter how sharp the knife was. I'm dumbemployed.

by quite_a_pistol on 12/12/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( knife sharpener prices )

At work today, I got on Google and searched for one of my coworkers. Turns out that he's had a few different jobs. One of them? He was a player in the XFL and his nickname was "ME BIG." I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 12/11/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( google xfl me big )

At work today, we had an after work basketball game. James, the biggest jerk in the office, constantly called fouls. The only weird thing is that he was worse at foul shots than anything else. He went 1/34 on the day. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 12/11/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( basketball fouls miss )

At work today, a Jewish customer came into the restaurant and asked if we had anything that was Kosher. My brother in law is Jewish, so I understand. But we are "Patty's Pork Place." I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 12/11/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( jewish kosher pork )

At work today, I had to talk to one of our tenants about his rent being late. Of course, the only time I see him is when he comes back from his "run." Judging by his shirtless physique, he doesn't run much. But I still had to spend ten minutes talking to his chest hair. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 12/11/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( tenants rent shirtless )
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