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At work today, we finally picked out the office building our company is moving to. It's only ten minutes further away! The only problem is that means it's twenty minutes from any restaurants. Looks like I'm going to be eating ham sandwiches every day from now on. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/29/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( office building moving sandwiches )

At work today, I was showing some tourists around the city of Milwaukee. They were flabbergasted at everything. Then we got to the new bronze Fonzie statue. One old man looked at it reverently. "You'd think they'd at least bury him," he said. He looked near tears. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/29/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( tourists milwaukee fonzie )

At work today, I was trying to connect to our wireless network (sometimes we use laptops at work). My boss showed up as I was frantically double clicking. "Why don't you just use dial up?" he asked me. I thought he was joking. Then he showed me the phone. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/29/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( wireless laptop dial up )

At work today, I spent the entire time trying to fix my enter key. Hour 1: realize that something is stuck under enter key. Hour 2: detach. Hours 3-8: totally fail to reattach. I'm dumbemployed.

by kaffenotater on 03/29/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( keyboard keys broken )

At work today, I was restoring a really nice old desk from the 1910s. I'd finally finished applying varnish to the top when I examined the bottom. The legs were intact, but on the bottom of this five thousand dollar desk, some little kid had stuck a wad of gum. A big wad. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/28/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( restoration desk varnish )

At work today, I asked a woman if she wanted her groceries in "Paper or Plastic". She replied "Milk". I put them in plastic.
I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/28/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( grocery paper plastic )

At work today, I emailed my re-re-re-re-recorrected report to my boss, who was working from home. He called me up on my way home (35mi commute) to tell me I sent the wrong report. After 30 minutes of him accusing me of being incompetent, he realized he was opening the wrong email. I'm dumbemployed.

by officemonkey on 03/28/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (13) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( reports commuting accusation )

At work today, I had a customer come in whose English wasn't too good, but I couldn't tell what nationality he was. Anyway, he sat down in the chair and I started cutting his hair. I asked him what kind of hair cut he wanted. "Skunk look," he said proudly. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/28/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( english barber skunk look )

At work today, I showed my boss a new draft of some stories that I've been working on for our company newsletter. He stared at it for a while and grimaced. "Once the newsletter gets popular," he said, "maybe we'll actually get some good stories." I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/27/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( journalist stories newsletter )

At work today, I started tracking how many times the door opened and shut. I marked it on a tally sheet in front of me and made sure to get a big piece of paper. Unfortunately, business isn't so good right now. At the end of the day, I had four marks. I'm dumbemployed.

by zarifah09 on 03/27/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( door tracking tally )

At work today,  I cleaned some of the sample tables at our furniture store. Glass tables. Naturally, a little five year old comes in with his terrible mom. He was just tall enough to smear his grubby little fingers on all of my clean tables. I got out the Windex again. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/27/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( furniture glass tables kids )

At work today, I mowed my neighbor's long for the princely rate of five dollars per yard (front and back). I finished after three hours and went to get my money. He had a big smile on his face. He said he had a tip for me too. I was happy. Then he handed me a Sacajawea dollar. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/27/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( lawn mowing sacajawea was a cheapskate )
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