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At work today, I wrote a "Happy Anniversary" card for one of my employees. I intended it for his fifth anniversary with the company. But he came into my office crying. "Me and Betty are getting a divorce," he said. Whoops. Bad choice of words. I'm dumbemployed.

by sweet_fire_fly on 07/28/14 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( happy anniversary fifth anniversary divorce )

At work today, I approached my job with a new sense of certainty. I will do what I want, when I want, how I want to do it. My first order of business? A long nap on the reception area couch. I think my new certainty is that I'll be fired soon. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 07/27/14 at 9:04pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( certainty nap receptionist )

At work today, I was canvassing for a local political gruop. I don't actually agree with them, but they hired me. That didn't stop me from getting shouted off of two doorways. Before they slammed the door, I asked each person if they would just hire me instead. They didn't. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 07/27/14 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( canvassing yelling doorways )

At work today, I thought I might break away from the group and work on some windows myself. Habitat for Humanity can get cliquey. Five minutes after I started, I overheard somebody else saying I'd gone "AWOL." I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 07/27/14 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (2) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( awol habitat for humanity group )

At work today, I used my break at Target to play the demo videogames. Of course, my manager said I needed to leave those to the customers. I've spent my last three paychecks on videogames. But if they want, I'm happy to go to Best Buy instead. Good customer service, guys. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 07/27/14 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( videogames paycheck customer service )

At work today, I finished a trucking route from Maine to LA. I know. I celebrated the occasion by having a big meal. At which point the waitress told me I was "eating lazy." Sweetie, you drive like I drive. Then you can call me lazy. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 07/27/14 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( trucking meal driving )

At work today, I got called out by a client in a rural area. He was mad that I'd never even worked on a farm. I didn't know what to tell him, except that I didn't think it affected my ability to install his DirecTV. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 07/26/14 at 9:04pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( rural farm directv )

At work today, I had a customer ask me where the new Dan Brown book was. I showed it to him and he flipped through the pages. "Is there an abridged version?" he asked and frowned. "Or one with pictures?" I'm dumbemployed.

by lacrossechic555 on 07/26/14 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( dan brown books pages )

At work today, my preceptor started talking to me and my date at a coffee shop. I'm a neuroscientist, and he talked about technical stuff. We talked for about 40 minutes. It was a date. But after that lecture, my date dumped me immediately. Thanks, teach. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 07/26/14 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( neuroscientist preceptor date )

At work today, I had a jazz flyer on my desk. My boss walked by and looked horrified. "What is that?" she shouted. "It's a jazz flyer," I whispered. "Oh," she said. "I thought that 'A' was an 'I'." I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 07/26/14 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( jazz cursing flyer )

At work today, three people took cigarette breaks at the same time. I watched them from the window. They were playing Uno. I would have been mad- but I was mostly sad I wasn't invited. I even smoke, too. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 07/26/14 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( cigarette uno breaks )

At work today, my aunt came into my workplace. I love her, but only because it's an obligation. "This is a nice office," she said drily. "Which corner is yours?" Then I showed her to my cubicle. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 07/25/14 at 9:04pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (1) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( corner cubicle aunt )
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