Register | About | RSS RSS | Login

Top Dumbemployed

At work today, we installed a new security camera system in the building. It looks like we needed it. We didn't catch any criminals or anything like that. But we did see the CEO hooking up with a prostitute in the parking lot. I'm dumbemployed.

by oakenthrone on 02/19/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (11) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( security camera ceo prostitute )

At work today, one of our biggest readers requested a used book we didn't have. Still, I was impressed by his taste and promised to get it for him. The next guy in line wasn't so good. He wanted to get a "first edition" of the daVinci Code. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/17/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (10) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( reader books davinci )

At work today, a customer lost her wedding ring while she was sampling furniture in our store. We searched for hours to try and find it. We never did, but tried hard. Guess who is suing the store? I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/19/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (10) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( wedding ring furniture lawsuit )

At work today, I think my boss finally realized that morale is pretty low because of the recession. He could change our policies, our pay, or our approach to team building. Instead, he decided to buy us candy for one day. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/21/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (10) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( morale candy team )

At work today, I realized that it was my and my girlfriends' anniversary. I was speaking to a maitre d trying to get a reservation on my work phone. I heard a beep. The receptionist told me I had another call. And that she hoped I got a table. She heard the whole thing. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/20/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (8) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( receptionist reservation call )

At work today, our boss announced that he wanted to start a work book club. OK, whatever- it's worth a try. Then we found out the first selection. Sir, Dr. Seuss is not appropriate for adults. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/18/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (8) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( book club selection dr. seuss )

At work today, a few of my coworkers decided we should all go out to lunch. I don't drink. That's not the case for my coworkers. They had four martinis. Each. I was carrying them back to work. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/20/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (8) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( lunch drinking martinis )

At work today, I was tasked with rewriting the employee guidebook on etiquette. It was an OK project, and a little interesting to try and make up the rules. Plus, the entire time, my cubicle mate was looking at online dating sites. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/17/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (8) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( online dating etiquette handbook )

At work today, I was supposed to watch the subway turnstiles to make sure none of the people jumped them. I saw somebody and started chasing after him but got stopped by my coworker. "Don't mind him," he said. "That's my brother." I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/17/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (8) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( turnstiles subway nepotism )

At work today, I kept getting interrupted at my desk by the daughter of one of our employees. She was asking me all these questions that five year olds shouldn't be asking. Like about stock options. I think that she was being used as a spy. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/18/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( daughter spy stock options )

At work today, my best friend and I were g-chatting on a few separate occasions. I ended up staying late for a conversation with my boss. Later, I looked at the g-chat logs. Apparently, I'd done over 1000 lines of g-chat nothingness. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/20/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( gchat friends conversation )

At work today, I was a little hesitant about leaving early, but everyone insisted that it was totally fine. I cut out ten minutes early. Thirty minutes after that, I received a text message. Apparently, my supervisor thought that I had suddenly quit. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/18/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( leaving quit supervisor )
Username:

Password:

Remember: