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Top Dumbemployed

At work today, I noticed my boss still has temporary license plates on the back of his car. They expire tomorrow. I asked him about it- he told me he was planning on making his own. I can't wait until he's pulled over. I'm dumbemployed.

by lacreina on 08/08/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (13) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( license plates expire temporary )

At work today, I was extra careful to jump over a large puddle so I didn't get my work pants wet. I wasn't careful to avoid the puddle I inadvertently jumped into. My coworker asked if I'd been fly fishing. I'm dumbemployed.

by namethaticon on 08/10/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (11) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( pants wet fly fishing )

At work today, my boss - who had just returned from a week out of the country - discovered something: the employee he put in charge while he was away deposited all of the week's deposits into an old, closed account. Now he can't make payroll for another week. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 08/10/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (10) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( payroll deposits bank account )

At work today, my ID card wasn't working and I couldn't get past the security door. I gave it to the guard. He said that I'd demagnetized it. I asked with what. He said that my keys could have done it. Something tells me he didn't get an A in science class. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 08/07/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (8) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( id card security door magnets )

At work today, the people in my office found out my secret- I got a 1600 on my SATs. My supervisor came up to me and said he was surprised. "I would have guessed 800 at best." Thanks, boss. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 08/11/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (8) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( 1600 sats 800 )

At work today, I won one of those raffles where you put your business card in a fishbowl. I told a coworker- he claimed that the prize, a catered meal, was company property since I used a company business card. He was serious. And I think I'll actually have to do it. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 08/12/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( raffle fishbowl business cards )

At work today, I finally got a call back from a job counselor. His new advice to my unemployed self? Start volunteering. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 08/09/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( counselor unemployed volunteer )

At work today, the guy in the office next to mine was playing Opera. I knocked on his door, surprised to find a fan. His secretary left the room and said he was busy. So that's why they had it turned up so loud. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 08/09/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( opera knocking secretary )

At work today, I accidentally sent a client an email intended for my mom. He wrote back. "Either you meant this for your mom, or you really, really want my business. I love you too, son." I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 08/08/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( email mom son )

At work today, I was working the front desk. The phone rang and it was a guest who had just checked out. He asked me if I could find and hold his bag of onions he left in the breakfast room, because he needed them for safety. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 08/08/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( onions hotel front desk )

At work today, I saw a patient at the end of my shift. Typical hypochondriac. It's funny- people don't feel qualified to fix their plumbing. But give them Web MD, and they can cure their own cancer. Hint: You can't. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 08/11/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( hypochondriac web md cancer )

At work today, I left my Tupperware in the fridge. When I got back, someone else's initials were scrawled on in Sharpie. You can't just pirate Tupperware! I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 08/10/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( tupperware fridge pirate )
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