Customers

At work today, heard a customer say "as the crow flies." I asked where he was giving directions to. He said he just really liked crows. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I heard two customers talking about politics. They were getting pretty angry. But they weren't debating the issues. They were debating Michele Obama's outfits. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I was working a sample sale. Have you ever been to one? They get a little...feisty. Today we had two black eyes and a near stabbing with a nail file. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I was working (read: writing recaps of Gossip Girl). Suddenly, a customer tapped me on the shoulder. "I was going to ask you if you had this blouse in red," she said. "But I'd rather talk about Chace Crawford!" We did- for twenty minutes. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, one of my customers ordered a powdered donut. He has a handlebar mustache, and by the end of his snack, it changes color from red to white. Charming, in a way. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I had a religious experience. A bad one. I was trying to sell a customer on getting an advanced tune up. He told me that I was going to hell for conning him. I think he might be right. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, there was a strange hammering noise outside. I assumed it was construction. It was actually a customer trying to tear down our low prices sign. "Them is lies!" he screamed. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, my friend called me while I was at the register. I answered because my job sucks. The weird thing is that the customer waited for me to finish. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, my coworker was giving a customer directions to our competition. I asked him what he was doing. "Oh, I actually sent them to the ghetto." That's good business. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I detected the nastiest smell in my checkout line. But that's not unusual. Every day is like that: I work at a baby store. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, a customer requested that we give him a copy of the instruction manual for a washer. I asked for the receipt. "Well, of course, I didn't buy the washer here." I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I saw one of my student's parents at the grocery. I said hi. I got a scowl. I guess she didn't recognize me. Or, worse, she did. I'm dumbemployed.