At work today, my girlfriend called at work. Not appropriately. She started talking dirty. Aren't speakerphones great? I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I spoke to the congressman who represents our district with a legislative question. Turns out that's not so easy. He'll have a secretary get back to me. In 3 months. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, the copier wasn't working on our floor. But the one three floors down was. I think my calves and quads are going to revolt against me. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, a customer requested that we give him a copy of the instruction manual for a washer. I asked for the receipt. "Well, of course, I didn't buy the washer here." I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I was collecting money at the toll both. Like always. I had a customer come in with a smile. Then I told them that, no, they couldn't pay the fare with pennies. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, my supervisor called me in for a "friendly discussion." That meant what it usually means- I spent twenty minutes listening to her complain about her kid. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I smelled a weird paint odor all around the restaurant. I asked my boss- he said it was normal and just part of the job. Not for a breakfast joint, it isn't. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, we had a fire drill. No, I don't work at a school. I work in an office building, like a grown up. The fire drill still took 2 hours total. I should have gone to a bar. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I tried to catch up on news and thought that I'd buy a newspaper in our mall. Turns out that's impossible. Guess they only have room for 3700 copies of US Weekly. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I finished assembling some bookshelves for a couple. They just stared at me. "Well, go ahead," the woman said. "Shelve the books, too." I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I rented a car to a cute young girl. Everything went fine until the end, when she asked me a question. "And do you all clean blood stains out, or do I?" I'm afraid for my life. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, there was a weird smell coming from somewhere in the building. I looked in my desk drawers. I looked under my chair. I looked behind my computer. Then I realized it was me. I'm dumbemployed.