Customers

At work today, one of my customers ordered a powdered donut. He has a handlebar mustache, and by the end of his snack, it changes color from red to white. Charming, in a way. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I had a religious experience. A bad one. I was trying to sell a customer on getting an advanced tune up. He told me that I was going to hell for conning him. I think he might be right. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, there was a strange hammering noise outside. I assumed it was construction. It was actually a customer trying to tear down our low prices sign. "Them is lies!" he screamed. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, my friend called me while I was at the register. I answered because my job sucks. The weird thing is that the customer waited for me to finish. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, my coworker was giving a customer directions to our competition. I asked him what he was doing. "Oh, I actually sent them to the ghetto." That's good business. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I detected the nastiest smell in my checkout line. But that's not unusual. Every day is like that: I work at a baby store. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, a customer requested that we give him a copy of the instruction manual for a washer. I asked for the receipt. "Well, of course, I didn't buy the washer here." I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I saw one of my student's parents at the grocery. I said hi. I got a scowl. I guess she didn't recognize me. Or, worse, she did. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I was waiting at the cash register for a customer. There were 5 of them. But they all chose self-checkout over me. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I enjoyed being rejected by a few people I asked out. I understand, I guess, that maybe it was inappropriate. It is an unwritten rule I shouldn't ask out the doctor's patients. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I was stuck inside all day during one of the most beautiful last days of summer. I asked a customer how it was outside. "Eh," he said. "I just stayed in and watched TV." I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I had a short conversation with the woman in line at our puzzle store. She was saying how strange it was that her son was so violent. I rang her up. She was buying a WWII game and a World of Warcraft puzzle. I have a guess on the violence thing, lady. I'm dumbmemployed.